Ten Reasons I've Been Away from My Keyboard

July 10, 2008--
In the past three weeks, I've:
1. Enjoyed a night of Kirtan chants at the Unitarian Church in Durham. Krishna Das puts on a mighty fine show--and my soul got clean... Sita Ram. Sita Ram Sita Ram!
2. Had another lunch date with my urologist. I think he grew bored of my urine and hasn't called back. It's been two weeks now. Do you think he's through with me?
3. Relaxed in Nags Head for a few days with lots of food, fun and family. And dolphins. I think the dolphins enjoyed us as much as we enjoyed them. Karen (crazy sister) immediately jumped in and slapped the water like Bud used to on Flipper. I don't think wild dolphins understand that code.
4. Planned a lunch date with a local gynecologist. I can't wait for her to crack open this treasure chest and see what barnacles need to be scraped off my hinges. Let's just pray it won't hurt or involve big syringes.
5. Decided that if I lose my uterus, fallopian tubes or an ovary---I'll always have the option for ethiopian babies, which will give husband Rob some serious running competition. Plus, there will finally be someone in my family with hair thick enough for tiny corn rows.
6. Moved office locations, and strengthened my biceps in the process.
7. Secured a new rental house for our temporary settlement. It's large and purple (think giant squid) and has all new flooring, and granite countertops. My biceps will be huge.
8. Played host over the Fourth to our favorite couple--Sara and Gerard from Atlanta by way of UCONN. We laughed, we ate, we had family game night, and we drank. and drank and drank.
a. After a hearty round of Apples to Apples, Clue, and Twenty Questions, we saddled up for the second attempt of walking to the fireworks show at the state fairgrounds but plans were thwarted by rain yet again so we found ourselves taking refuge from the storm at a sad little bar (appropriately, Sadlocks Heroes) listening to really good bluegrass and watching the local homeless offer up some unfortunate dance moves. (Random sidenote, this bar was playing a Bicycleface album inside where only a few homeless regulars gathered-- a very very obscure blast from the circa-92 Atlanta past. My husband associates with one of the bandmembers, who is thoroughly amused at this special tribute) The PBR was cold enough to feed our spirits to feel up for a little 2 mile walk in the rain to my favorite Irish haunt Tir na Nog for some Smithwicks and fussball----which swiftly progressed into Ketel One-and-Waters, Guinness, and somehow Mind Erasers and Red Bull & Vodkas. I immediately put on my imaginary leg warmers and flash dance sweatshirt and totally showed up the sorority girls trying to grind on their meatsticks of choice that evening, by tripping them, pulling their hair when they weren't looking and making fun of them behind their backs in every way possible. I don't know why I'm such a spiteful drunk, but I always have fun with myself, and bad 80s bands everywhere are slightly amused at the idiot who doesn't care about what her version of the Safety Dance looks like. Hopefully I didn't embarrass my guests too much, but they stuck around for breakfast so they must still be our friends despite my heavily abusive nature. Following the closing of the bar, we accepted a ride from the nicest cabby ever, good ole Howard Johnson from Alabama by way of 7 other states including Ohio. Approximately 3am, Gerard was in the kitchen getting in touch with his Italian side by mixing up a delicious post-stout meal of garlic-infused pasta tossed with fresh mozzarella, black eyed peas, black olives, and sriracha chili paste (i think). I have no idea how, but it worked. He's the maestro. Backdropped by a late late late night viewing of The Big Chill, it was the perfect close to the perfect random happening.
b. Just for your personal knowledge, I'd like to include reference to the fact that we're not just alcoholics. The weekend was also full of city touring, trips to the Art Museum, Oakwood Cemetery, first rate dining at Mellow Mushroom, Players Retreat, Carolina Cafe & Bakery, book and poetry reviews, as well as some historical and geological educational experiences at the Gem and Mineral show at Dorton Arena. Yeah baby, we're nerds too. So top that.
9. I washed my cat's butt last night.
10. Still organizing the Raleigh Chapter of 'Save a Turtle...It Feels Good.' So far a coworker has joined my cause. Don't you want to? You'll get a Tshirt. Just let me know.

Today's Playlist:

1. Proud Mary--Tina & Ike Turner
2. Green River--Creedence Clearwater Revival
3. Spirit in the Sky---Norman Greenbaum
4. Jessie's Girl--Rick Springfield
5. Busy Being Fabulous--The Eagles
6. Subterranean Homesick Blues--Bob Dylan
7. Knock 'em Out--Lily Allen
8-9. Mariella & Merry Happy---Kate Nash
10.Spill the Wine--WAR w/Eric Burdon